YOUR WORK COMPUTER STARTS TALKING TO YOU!
Here’s little snippets that were rolling up my screen…
Even tried texting him.
I’m really depressed about this.
You see, I’m just a web server…
with the power of a million hamsters
trying to serve you a simple web page,
and then it doesn’t even exist!
Where does that leave me?!_
I mean, I don’t even know you.
How should I know what you wanted from me?
You honestly think I can *guess*
what someone I don’t even *know*
wants to find here?
Man, I’m so depressed I could just cry.
And then where would we be, I ask you?_
It’s not pretty when a web server cries.
And where do you get off telling me what to show anyway?
Just because I’m a web server,
and possibly a manic depressive one at that?
Why does that give you the right to tell me what to do?
I’m so depressed…
I think I’ll crawl off into the trash can and cut myself._
I mean, I’m gonna be obsolete in what, two weeks anyway?
What kind of a life is that?
Two fraking weeks,
and then I’ll be replaced by a .01 release,
that thinks it’s God’s gift to web servers,
just because it doesn’t have some tiddly little
security hole with its HTTP POST implementation,
I’m really sorry to burden you with all this,
I mean, it’s not your job to listen to my problems,
and I guess it is my job to go and fetch web pages for you.
But I couldn’t get this one.
I’m so sorry.
Maybe I could interest you in another page?
Like a page about bunnies and puppies being friends?_
Although none of them were put on *my* server, of course.
Everything here is just idle chat with members.
That makes me depressed too, since I have to serve them,
all day and all night long.
Two weeks of information overload,
and then *pffftt*, consigned to the trash.
What kind of a life is that?_
Now, please let me sulk alone.
I’m so depressed._